Sunday, November 30, 2008

"Your scrotum will be swollen...."

Well, I have finally had the dreaded iguinal hernia surgery. No fun to say the least. I remember when I saw the surgeon the first time. He told me what was wrong and that "we" would have to do surgery to repair. There wasn't any "we" in this surgery. Hell. all I did was prep myself for surgery. The doctor gleefully announced as he examined me prior to surgery, "you've, already shaved, that'll make the nurses happy." I'm glad I could give someone some joy on this my most glorious day. The doctor told me that he would make a little incision and then push the hernia back in to place and cover the area with mesh. Like hell little. The damn incision measures 5 *^%#$@! inches. The incision is bigger than...

The last thing I remember was the nurse saying that she was going to give me the rest of my "cocktail". Bingo, I wake up in recovery and some really cute nurse saying, "How do you feel, Mr. Henson?" How the hell do you think I feel? I've been out for forty five minutes, I have a five inch incision, my throat feels like sandpaper and I can't feel anything below my waist (no worry, the feeling came back, whew!!!) and you want to know how I feel? What do they teach in nursing school anyway? I feel like shit, now give me something to make me feel better.

They told me before surgery that I couldn't go home until I "tee-teed". Now I'm 55 years old, I don't think you have to use the word "tee-tee" anymore. Piss, take a leak, or urinate-just not "tee tee". I get back to the room and whizz bang, I pissed right off. I was in the bathroom doing my business and my wonderful wife heard the joyful sounds of urine hitting water and applauded my efforts. The nurse came in and I proudly described my exploits and she quickly said, "Did you flush?" I wanted to say no and I didn't raise the lid and I missed more than I hit, but I quickly realized that she doubted my recent success. She WASN'T going to win this argument. I did finally convince her that I really had done the deed.

My post op nurse kept lifting the sheet and saying, "your scrotum will be swollen, so don't worry. Just keep ice on it." Yeah, she was a female. No male would tell another male, "your scrotum will be swollen, so don't worry." I know she peaked under that sheet at least three times with the same "scrotum announcement." She was partially correct. It was REALLY swollen and it turned black and blue. No one told me about my very sensitive areas becoming black and blue. I was in for quite the surprise when on the third day after surgery I went to take a whizz and my $%@#*&^ penis was purple. No reason for alarm you say. The hell you say. I ain't got much but I sure as hell don't want what I got rotting off. The doctor on call heard from me immediately. He seemed to get a chuckle out of my paranoia.

Nurse India got me home and really after three relatively uneventful days I am on my way to a full recovery. But the next time a physician says, "we're going to have to do surgery", "we're going to talk about the details a little more.

59 comments:

David Henson said...

Wow. What an incredibly uncomfortable post to read, to say nothing of the one who experienced it!

Blake said...

Brother, you missed your calling. You should be in NYC or LA writing material for Saturday Night Live or some sitcom. I know it is an accurate account that shows what absurdly stupid things people say and do sometimes but once I got past the seriousness of a surgery, I almost "tee-teed" on myself while reading your story. Thanks for sharing.
I feel like I got to visit with my good buddy Hal for a minute...electronically of course.

Blake said...

Hey Bro,
my email is abbaof3@bellsouth.net

From there I can give you cell # and we can grab a beer some time. Or even better, I started making beer and wine about 18 months ago and I would love to share some with you.

brass mike said...

i agree- that was an incredibly uncomfortable post to read - but only because "we" just had the same thing done and it hurts when I laugh. been over a year now, update? is there a light at the end of the tunnel?

Anonymous said...

i too had an inguinal hernia repair on my left side... my left scrotum is quite swollen... it looks like it's 2x bigger than the right... there's no sign of black / blue or bleeding.. but it just feels slightly bigger / swollen.

I notice you had this as well... it's been 6 days already... the swelling has not subsided. When did your swelling subside and return to its original size?

I'm in friggin' paranoia state now.. someone help me!!

-Lee

Anonymous said...

Hey brother...I feel your pain...had the same surgery four days ago and I almost crapped my pants when I looked
Yesterday and saw my scrotum was twice normal size and black and blue as well as was "wee willy"...what a relief to read that this was a common problem...unfortunately no one at the hospital warned me this could happen...anyways thanks for the chuckle...my side is still sore from laughing
Bob

Anonymous said...

Four days out and thank god my junk did not change color.... although i have huge balls... that's not a good thing... i was happy with them in their natural state. every time i asked the Doctor about the swelling he said "normal, don't worry".... um.... hello.... walking... and um.... sleeping... and um.... well... just about anything is made more difficult with enormous balls. by the way, i, in now way, feel braver with these things hanging between my legs. how long did it take for your swelling to go down?

Unknown said...

Big up guys! Thanks for the posts. And I am glad to know that I'm not the only one who laughed in pain after reading this. Happy to know the swelling will go down and go back to normal on its own. Don't think I would make it through another op. so soon. By far the happiest moment is the first "Tee Teed". Not feeling your legs for a few hours is by far the most paranoid I've been in a long time besides the swelling.

Anonymous said...

thank u for your info// you described everything accurately //Am in my 2nd day sorry I didn't see your blog before I went in /Am using Ice and tyenol

Had colon operation 4 years ago same problem/
Nobody warned me it would happen for a hernia .
all the wise guys said it I would walk around around in 2 days
mel
may 29/2013

Anonymous said...

I gotta say, you nailed it! I just had the same surgery. I was pretty calm before the surgery figuring that the nurse's comment "you may experience some swelling for a few days" couldn't be that bad....

OMG! My junk looks like an F'ing purple blowfish all puffed up!

It did make me laugh and feel a bit better knowing that someone else had gotten through this. I had the surgery three days ago and was starting to think that maybe something was going to fall off.

Alan said...

I just had surgery yesterday on right inguinal hernia.
i am glad to read that my swollen ball appears to be a common reaction that will resolve. Yesterday and this morning I was worried about the numbness in my right thigh. I called the doctor and one of his associates told me it is common, and it might not go away. Nobody mentioned that before the surgery. The numbness went away later in the day today. Now I just noticed my swollen ball and a quick search got me here to read that I am not alone. Thank you for sharing your experiences so that we don't have to run to the ER.
I have been trying to clear the "gunk" from my lungs from surgery. Each time I do, I hold my hand over the bandage to minimize the pain and protect myself from causing the repair to rip.
This is why I put this off for 6 months. I knew it was going to be a painful ordeal. Good luck to you all !

blue ball + said...

Dave
I had left inguinal surgery Friday the 9th I thought things went great after the surgery I was walking around walmart thinking man this went great. Now I am dealing with a purple grapefruit between my legs not to mention my purple penis, Why didn't they poke a drain whole for this to drain. There is no place for it to go, dr said there would be seepage and swelling. I thought he meant seepage around the stitches, We bought a comedy to watch boy was that the wrong thing to watch it hurt like hell when i laughed. it was bad before the surgery but i could push the swelling back in, Not so with this grapefruit its not going nowhere, this reminds of those guys with those balls hanging from their pickups but mine is the real mccoy.i even think i could compare with some of the best bulls out there. I guess all we can do is wait. Any sugestions for meds to reduce swelling?
Glad to know this is something that is common and will pass,

Unknown said...

I always wanted to know what it would be like to have a big black cock and big black balls. After my hernia surgery yesterday now I know!

Tom said...

Same here.
Got operated on Monday 14/10/2013.
Noticed s slight bruise, nothing to worry about.
Yesterday, I started to worry.
Today my scrotum is Black.

Wish the medical team had of warned me about this, especially since I have had 3 varicoscele repairs done already and it never bruised like this.....

Thanks for the good chuckle..:o)

Anonymous said...

I'm happy to read this. I'm 56, had a right inguinal hernia repair 5 days ago. I was sore and feeling pretty okay but that evening my right thigh went completely numb. Talk about heart-pounding terror. It self resolved the next day. I panicked on day 3 when the area around my incision swelled up. This appears to be lymph and being more active than I probably should have been. This morning I discovered my scrotum had turned purple-black alone the middle and my right testicle is enlarged. I'm concerned, but it's a relief to read that this is not altogether uncommon and self resolving.

I just wish the physicians would take the time to give us a hand out or something that lists these kinds of outcomes so we don't panic! FYI - I had my left hernia repaired about 7 years ago with none of these complications. I'm left wondering how much of this has to do with surgical skill (or the absence of same)

There doesn't seem to be a lot of follow-up with these posts; I suppose the problems go away and people don't follow up. I'll try and make a point of checking in and letting folks know how mine turns out.

Looking forward to getting back to normal.

Sore in Texas

Anonymous said...

Glad to read this had colon surgery a week ago and been suffering with swelling the last several days. Now that I know it is normal I will ice and relax, if that can be done simultaneously... lol

Anonymous said...

My balls swelled up to the size of a very large grapefruit. Everything is totally black and my ding dong has been completely consumed. This is unreal.

Anonymous said...

I had a left side inguinal hernia (that I had for years) repaired with only minor swelling. I developed a right side direct inguinal hernia and decided to have it repaired right away.... Both repairs were done by the same very qualified surgeon. 1 week later and yes my junk is swelled up to about twice it's normal size and turning bruise colors underneath and on the side. Ice and tylonol, I'll call the doc in a couple days if things get worse. Thanks for the post, appreciate it!

Anonymous said...

I had a "Double" repaired on 12/17/13 and the 1st couple days wasn't too bad. Then and day 3 "Shazam" Black and blue balls and whinky. Total discomfort and the hole package was like a grapefruit. Total pain, I am a Norco and Motrin 800 addict. Good to hear this goes away but like others in the post, was not prepared for this much bruising, swelling and pain !

Anonymous said...

Omg there should be a warning not to read this post within three days of surgery. I almost ripped out my sides laughing at purple blowfish and winkies. I too wasn't warned of the "minor" swelling that "may" occur. After getting both left and right hernia repair I thought I was doing well until I woke up with a huge mass between my legs. I had more pain from my purple enlarged gonads than the repair site! Frantically I've been googling quite a bit and am glad I'm not the only one having this grand experience!

Anonymous said...

Thank goodness for all this input. My husband had inguinal hernia repair three days ago which went from laparoscopic to a 6" incision. He is now sporting an extremely large purple black grapefruit/eggplant which has chased his "whowho" into his man cave, looking like a tiny baby cyclopse in a nest. This info has really helped my husband keep his sanity :)

Mark said...

Just had a double 3 days ago. My balls are black and blue, double their size. My dick the top half of my dick is black and blue. It hurt like hell yesterday. Swelling is down today. I recommend a comfortable jockstrap. Seems to help

Anonymous said...

I had my open double 7 days ago, thank goodness for these posts as i had no idea what to expect. Was stuck in bed for 4 days from all the pain. Sleeping with swollen balls is difficult and worse when you get an erection during the night. i have resorted to baby powder to minimise all the rubbing and friction down there. A word of warning dont get constipated because the pain is excruciating when you need to go.

Anonymous said...

I had my double, with mesh, 12 days ago. The staples come out in two days, but my scrotum is so swollen it's engulfed my penis. I have no idea how to reduce this. Bowel movements are fine, but urinating (while not painful) is a challenge. I have to stand right over the bowl, hang the boys into the opening, let fly and hope for the best.
Any ideas how to reduce this canteloupe?

Anonymous said...

oh! man those post about cantelope balls and grapefruit for nuts had me laughing and crying with pain had my surgey 3 days ago on the 8th and my nuts fill like giant water balloons and my left side is bruised and swollen but it is my right side that had the bulge when I first got diagnosed found after I had two left side testicle is killing me and my penis is swollen and black hideous scared the shit out of me I called my doctor twice he said it is common and to relax will go away I don't want to wait weeks for it to go away any one know how long?

Anonymous said...

my balls are bigger than a ten pin bowling ball and heavier, and have been that way for a week, black blue purple...every time i sit on the john they take a bath. I'm afraid to turn over in bed lest i land on the floor....i think it is just another screw up...I have a friend who had the inquinal thing and in 3 days was normal, no swelling...medical science is a misnomer...

Anonymous said...

Wish I had read this post 6 days ago.
I had inguinal hernia repair on my right side.
No one ever mentioned my scrotum might double in size.
Don't get constipated because the pain is excruciating when you need to go 3 days later.I have been taking fiber pills since.
Feeling better now , knowing things are normal.

Joe S. said...

I'm going into day four and my purple Blowfish is about the same size. Thank God the pain is starting to subside, I can actually get out of bed without screaming. In regards to the constipation get a bottle of the pink Milk of Magnesia and immediately take 4 ounces. It doesn't work right away but when it does make sure your close to the head. After the initial dose take 2 ounces before bedtime for maintenance. While MOM IS A LAXATIVE COLACE IS A STOOL SOFTENER,take 3 of those every day as well. Do this and when you finally go it will ease out and you won't even know your on the toilet. I started this process on day two so some of you still have time to avoid what I imagine would be real painful experience) having to strain to take a shit).a good friend of mine had this done and told me it takes about 6 weeks to get right. Hang tough Brovo 6, hope this helps.
Joe S.
Covington, La.
Joe@dwssonline.net

Unknown said...

I am on day two of right side inguinal hernia repair ...I am really swollen at site and my balls look like a giant organic purple and black summer plum from granny's house ..super sore and my standard white boy issue gun now looks like a giant purple gummy bear from the trick or treat bag ...,I was so dang plugged up from the Anethesia and Norco it to kk two days of dulcolax to even fart and today I drank a full bottle of magnesium citrate which I highly recommend and I finally pissed out my ass it felt like a gallon of super burning high velocity shart fire juice ...major news flash :a 9.5 poonami has struck the west coast of orange county ..all residents should not breath and seek immediate shelter....omg it effing hurts to laugh

Unknown said...

Omg I am having a little talk with doc he has one why the f... would he not tell me.I guy told me a couple days before or I would have freaked out

Unknown said...

Omg I am having a little talk with doc he has one why the f... would he not tell me.I guy told me a couple days before or I would have freaked out

Anonymous said...

So, I experienced a lot of the same things. Big black dick and purple eggplant balls. The color faded after a week but my right testicle that was a swollen golf ball until 2 months post op has now shrunk to the size of a marble and is still hard-- 3 months after the op! My left testicle is soft and normal. I'm scared I am going to lose my right one....

Harold G said...

Glad I read all these! My left nut is the size of an orange and very sensitive not to mention black and blue. I am on day 5 post op. Thought it was all good until yesterday. Now my nuts hurt more than ever. Thankfully still have some percocet left!

Harold G said...

Glad I read all these! My left nut is the size of an orange and very sensitive not to mention black and blue. I am on day 5 post op. Thought it was all good until yesterday. Now my nuts hurt more than ever. Thankfully still have some percocet left!

Anonymous said...


Had hernia repair two days ago. Felt great that day told might get some bruising and swelling. Got them
both including constipation. Laying in bed now with my scrotum elevated. Ice on the incision and colace, Senakot and prune juice on board to avoid a repeat of this mornings attempt at a BM. Nice to read I'm not alone. Problem is it hurts to laugh and these posts are great. Thanks guys

Anonymous said...

Had inguinal on my left side. I finally had the damn thing done last week. I have carried it for the last 5 years whilst i waited to get it finally done.
Just incase the hernia out lived me now that im heading to my mid fifties.
Get it done you will be so glad you did.
Yep regard pain swelling and all the other probs.
Glad i did it.

Unknown said...

I had right inguinal hernia surgery and my right ball is larger than my left one Just wondering how long before it heals completely

Unknown said...

I had right inguinal hernia surgery and my right ball is larger than my left one Just wondering how long before it heals completely

Anonymous said...

Wow, had bi lateral inguinal hernia a week ago, the nurse said I would be black and blue, and I assumed it would be around the stitches, boy was I surprised, black and blue grapefruit hanging between my legs, still sore! Several hours post surgery I got the hiccups, would not stop, went on non-stop for a day before I got a script for Thorazine, and after the first pill and 2 hours later I was able to get some sleep, not a lot of fun

Unknown said...

I'm on day 3 from right side ING surgery. Same prob.
as y'all. And moderate pain but getting better. 54 and always had hernia but it got worse in the last few years so I decided to get it fixed. Now I wish I had done it 5 years ago.

Unknown said...

I'm on day 3 from right side ING surgery. Same prob.
as y'all. And moderate pain but getting better. 54 and always had hernia but it got worse in the last few years so I decided to get it fixed. Now I wish I had done it 5 years ago.

Anonymous said...

The Doc or nurses didn't warn me about any swelling! Or that laughing to all these posts with my wife would be so painful. Day one post-op, showering before bed peeped down at my pecker noticed it was OK, but Whoa! my huevos looked like huge purple plums. Thought, did the nurses drop something on my nuts? I was very alarmed. Wife got ice, thanks to this blog. However, dilike side effects of Vicodin, enduring the pain, miralax for easy poop, drinking lots of water, catheter messed up my aim , so I sit. Just hoping my boys don't rot off. Glad to hear this is normal post operative reaction to rt & lt inguinal laproscopic surgery repair w/mesh.

Anonymous said...

Had the right inguinal hernia repaired. On the second night my right testicle swelled up as well, as well as the shaft of my junk! I flipped out so bad! My balls are so heavy now, specially the right one, but I'm using tight boxer briefs to hold them in place for support and that seems to help a lot. I won't see my surgeon for at least another week so that sucks! So I'm going to a walk in clinic to have another doctor take a look at it, just to make sure. I'm glad I looked up these posts though, it helps to know that I'm not alone out there! It would have been nice if the surgical team told me something about this, they just gave me a paper that says "swelling and bruising of the scrotum is possible". It doesn't say anything about dark blue purple balls! Or a dark blue purple dick!! I don't know how long it'll last but i'll make sure to come back to shaRe the end result.

Anonymous said...

Boy, did these posts help as NO ONE at the hospital warned me about this. Had left inguinal hernia repair - 12 hours post-op: half my scrotum was black. 24 hours: all black. 36 hours: one big grapefruit sized black shape with just the head of my penis showing. 48 hours: penis head no longer showing. Nothing to do but wait it out, doctor says, happens to about 1 in 30 (still think mine had to be one of the worst) and is caused by hematoma.

Unknown said...

I had inguinal hernia on left side, I mean surgery last year. It was horrific as my balls were the size of a bowling ball. I had no idea that it was going to be like that and I didn't end up leaving the house for an entire month. I am now on my second inguinal surgery for the right time and am experiencing everything that everyone else is in this post going back eight years. I gotta say that I'm going to go ahead and agree with everyone else before this post that I wish there had been a warning. I laughed so hard it hurt. I'm on day 4 of my right side surgery and my balls are huge but nothing compared to last time. Still very painful and I don't expect to leave the house for at least another week or two.

If you're looking for affordable hernia surgery, I highly recommend dr. Alan Kravitz in Rockville Maryland. He gave me better service and of my balls are less large than my previous surgery which cost $15,000, whereas the surgery with dr. Kravitz cost less than $2,000.

Unknown said...

I had inguinal hernia on left side, I mean surgery last year. It was horrific as my balls were the size of a bowling ball. I had no idea that it was going to be like that and I didn't end up leaving the house for an entire month. I am now on my second inguinal surgery for the right time and am experiencing everything that everyone else is in this post going back eight years. I gotta say that I'm going to go ahead and agree with everyone else before this post that I wish there had been a warning. I laughed so hard it hurt. I'm on day 4 of my right side surgery and my balls are huge but nothing compared to last time. Still very painful and I don't expect to leave the house for at least another week or two.

If you're looking for affordable hernia surgery, I highly recommend dr. Alan Kravitz in Rockville Maryland. He gave me better service and of my balls are less large than my previous surgery which cost $15,000, whereas the surgery with dr. Kravitz cost less than $2,000.

Anonymous said...

Doctor told me it'd take about a month for swelling to subside and the black and blue to disappear.

Unknown said...

Was only in a post near the very end that the medical cause of this was actually mentioned: a Haematoma causing disturbed blood to engorge the scrotum.If you are an unlucky one _ many are not _ then forget about "possible soreness and redness near the incision" as I was casually briefed myself beforehand .... we are talking here about Huge scrotal swelling/substantial bruising and inevitable Constipation. All very unpleasant and the fact very few bloggers have bothered to laud the physical benefits ! of getting the hernia itself repairs just shows how distressingly Traumatic the side-effects are.

Unknown said...

.. of getting the hernia itself repaired ...

Anonymous said...

Hi guys,
Well Although my balls are black and blue at this moment, after reading this blog I am suddenly relieved.
I had my surgery 4 days ago and I too have had the balls swelling and the cock turn red and black, I feel like I am turning into an African American from the balls up as it keeps spreading :-) But honestly, what a shock, I rang the hospital to talk to a nurse and they just wanted me to go to my own private doctor. I got the run around so bad I told one nurse that I think that during my surgery, the doctors and nurses must have picked up a paddle bat each and had a game of ping-pong with my balls.
Yep, nobody told me it would be like this.
It will be kinda sad when the swelling goes down... I'm getting used to the "new me"... :-)
Cheers all
Big Balls Den from Australia

Unknown said...

Yeah, been there just done that. Double inguinal hernia repair of both sides.
I also had 5" + cuts on both sides and some purple paranoia in same area as said poster's statement. I'm healing now, just trying to make it through. Good ol' pain meds to get me past it. I don't want to go through this again! Cheers.

Unknown said...

Yeah, been there just done that. Double inguinal hernia repair of both sides.
I also had 5" + cuts on both sides and some purple paranoia in same area as said poster's statement. I'm healing now, just trying to make it through. Good ol' pain meds to get me past it. I don't want to go through this again! Cheers.

Anonymous said...

I highly recommend the homeopathic remedy Arnica before and just after hernia surgery. Arnica 200c is the highest dose - use it before the surgery. and just after. Arnica 30c thereafter. Arnica is used by athletic coaches to reduce swelling. There are no side effects, it's inexpensive, safe for any age, and it's available in health and nutrition stores. My husband took 200c before and just after the surgery and he had no swelling, but his penis and scrotum has turned partially purple but only minor swelling. This is day five post surgery, he is still taking the Arnica 30c several times daily. He was off Vicodan by 3rd day and says he has minor discomfort. Needed the stool softener and fiber supplement recommended by his doctor, drinking moderate amounts of water. He had laproscopic surgery, with mesh installed, for 3 hernias. Good luck boys!

Anonymous said...

Not mentioning the black and blue scrotum and penis earned Doctor a pager call
... Thanks for mentioning this is normal. I didn't experience this the last time, and this recovery is going much better/quicker/less pain than then.

Anonymous said...

Hi Guys, I am Jay I have same problem after Inguinal Hernia surgery. My scrotum is swollen. Can we make a whatsapp group of people having same problem..interested people can contact me at 9538925032

Ranjiet said...

My number is: 00919538925032

Ranjiet said...

My number is: 00919538925032

Unknown said...

Interesting read had the same surgery on Tuesday my scrotum never really swelled until Thursday. finger crossed it goes down. As far as a way to help with pain. I wear tight underwear and cut the elastic in a couple spots. It really does help with getting up and laying down. They keep everything in place and by cutting the elastic it keeps it loose around the incision. May not work for all but it did help.Wait till day 3 to start wearing them. Cheers

Anonymous said...

Hi,I had a hernia problem witch ended with a surgery. Quality repair is essence of good recovery and please educate yourself about your body especially if you are a parent!