Yesterday was Father's Day and I was talking with David about being a dad. We were talking about our time together when he was young. One of the things that he remembers were the times in North Alabama when we would play football in our yard. I always got to be all time quarterback-something David remembers fondly. I remember it with a great sense of fondness, too. Being all time quarterback was one of the many good things about being dad. I was pretty good at it also, not that I was a great passer or play caller but I think I knew how to manage "the game." For you future all time quarterbacks here are some pointers.
1. Always be aware of the importance of dividing up the teams correctly. The older kids invariably want to be on the same team so they can show their "prowess" in beating the younger kids. Even them up but keep the siblings separte where you can. Also be careful to divide up the speed guys.
2. You have to be very skillful in managing the game itself. Usually one team really starts "sticking" it to the other. You have to know how to overthrow the ball so that it doesn't look like it. If it looks good-the "my bad" line usually works. You just can't do it too often or you'll be accused of "cheating". Not that I ever did that but you might need it in your bag of tricks. Another valuable skill is knowing the right time to throw that ill timed interception. The best time to throw it is on a down and in/or out. You throw the interception and claim that you thought they were going to cut the other way. When you throw this interception the key is to throw it so the weaker team can return it for a TD. This can be a momentum changer. Occasionally you want to give the weaker team an interception but ALWAYS when teh weaker team has little chance of a first down.Again, be careful not to use this one too often. The other trick is to know the right time to call a penalty. Never make a flagrant bad call but always err to the weak team in close calls but every now and then throw the strong team a bone on a penalty.
3. Uaually in these games there is one kid that isn't nearly as good as the other ones. You have to know how to set up that one play so that kid gets to be the hero. Maybe a trick play or maybe it is the "interception". Sometimes you even have to get the other kids in on it. But believe me it works.
4. The most important thing about being all time quarterback is having plenty of goodies for half time or at the end. Plan to have hot dogs and cokes, win or lose evry kid enjoys that part of the game.
As you can see, I have the finer points in being all time quarterback down pat. I must say I don't remember any bad games at "all time quarterback". I think I might one day make the Hall of Fame. I'd get my vote!! It was a blast. Try it sometime. I hope that I can live long enough to be all time quarterback for Brendan and Will.
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2 comments:
Nice! I always had my suspicion that there was some subterfuge going on, but never blatant enough to call it! But I had no idea it was so methodical and well-thought-out.
I am taking notes in awe, especially for those tricks I didn't suspect!
Jud's kids called him an out-and-out cheat at the Howell Family Reunion. So beware, kids in B's and W's generation may be a little sharper than your generation.
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