My Father's Day Gifts-Already Given

Well, Father's Day will be here on Sunday. I guess this will be my 30th year to be recognized on this day. I always got a kick out of this day especially when the boys were little. I don't remember what the present was on my first Father's day but I do remember the sense of awe of actually being a father on that day. Being a dad has always been a special role for me, not that I was necessarily a great dad but I was a good one. I love being a father and today I still love that role. And now I get to add the role of being a grand father. I have reflected this year more on being a dad more than others in recent years and for a number of reasons.

One is that I am "watching" my youngest son become a father for the second time. Little Will is due anyday now. I really hope he is a Father's Day baby, even though if he were born a little late he could be born on my birthday. But what could be a better Father's Day present for my son than to have little Will being born on Father's Day. It is really cool to watch David being a dad. He is a damn great dad!!!
I am awed by his patience, gentleness, love and determination in being a dad. David is a "stay at home dad". He relishes the role of dad and primary caregiver. He is great at what he does. I realize as I watch him father Brendan how short of his mark that I fell. I believe David would be a great dad even if he weren't the primary caregiver. So David, the best present you could give me on this Father's Day is one that you have already given to me-being the best dad for which Brendan and Will could hope. Your past accomplishments, and they are many, do not compare to what you are doing now. David, I love you.

The other reason that I have reflected so much on this Father's Day is my oldest son Zac. I have had the opportunity the last few months to see my son in a different light. Several months ago Zac found out that he had a disease/disorder that he would have to deal with the rest of his life. I have seen him tackle the disease head on and never back down from it. I know that at times he has probably wanted to give up be he never has. I remember getting off the plane in Oakland shortly after he experienced a life and death situation and was diagnosed with this disease. I was horrified at what I saw. He looked like a dead man walking. His eyes were sunken, his was frail and had an ashen color. I am so glad that his mom did not see him that day. His mom and I have had the opportunity to help nurse him back to health, more his mom than me but more Zac than anyone. I have seen a courage, a strength and a determination that I didn't know that he had. One that I don't think that I could have. I have seen sunken eyes begin to sparkle, fraility turn in to strength and a ashen look turn into a healthly look. I have heard him begin to laugh more and to communicate more. I have heard him say that what has happened to him the last few months is a miracle. So Zac, the best present I could get from you on this Father's Day has already been given-it is you-it is the miracle of you. Zac, I love you.