Uncovered joy

I sit here in my office on a Sunday evening thinking about the events of the last couple of weeks. It has been a whirlwind few days. In Columbus one day, back in Birmingham the same day and flying to California the next. Must have been some big business trip? Nope, it was all about family.

You see, nine months ago I was blessed with my first grandchild, hence the name pops. My son David added the ! to pops. He says it's because of how excited that I get with kids. I do love kids. You put me in a room with adults and kids, I want to be with the kids. At family get togethers, I sit at the kids table and not because of my childish behavior(although it is often such), but by choice. At such gatherings, I'd rather be outside with the kids. It must be my refusal to admit the aging process. But nine months ago, I was forced to admit the aging process. Being a grandfather says without a doubt you are getting older. But Brendan Micah has somehow uncover a joy in my heart that I did not know existed. I have been blessed as a husband and a father, I have been given great joy by my family. However, both David (my youngest son) and Jadda (my bride) say that they see a joy on my face with Brendan that they have never seen. I have thought about that the last few days and really can't pinpoint the why of it all.

I told Jadda this morning that Brendan has captured my heart. I really didn't think that there was any more room in my heart to love like I do my wife and my sons, but Brendan has proven me wrong. That little fella has put more joy into my life than I thought was possible. I have a wonderful life but for some reason God saw a need to give me a little more joy.

I do silly things as a pops! I write Brendan letters(emails). My crazy way to "connect with him" two thousand miles away. I love golf and I mark my golf balls with either Pops! or B. And I think it makes me play better. I love to ride a road bike and when I ride I dream of Brendan one day riding with me. I know it's a mommy and daddy's place to get a kid is first bike but the selfish one in me wants to get that for Brendan. I love to shop for clothes for Brendan.

So maybe I've managed to find the reason for this tremendous love for this little ball of energy. I miss being a dad. Oh, I'm still a dad but I miss those dad moments that I had with my boys. Like taking Zac to his first Auburn football game and sleeping in a parking lot and not telling Jadda until years later. Like teaching Zac to ride his bike for the first time. Like getting them a go-kart one year for Christmas and having David proceed to turn it over on himself. Like watching David play baseball with a foot in a cast and still being the fastest kid on the team. Like watching David run track in high school and college. Like helping Zac through trying times during college. Like seeing David being such a good father. Maybe it is because things have come full circle. I don't know how good of a dad I really was? I tried awfully hard at times and really screwed up at other times. But one thing I do know, I love my family. And I sure do love Brendan Micah. He has stolen my heart.

Indiana Jones and the Kid

This really has nothing to do with the new Indiana Jones movie other than the fact that I just got home from seeing the movie. But it was what happened after the movie that this is about. As India and I were leaving the movie their was a young man asking for money so that he could get in to the movie. Now, I did something that years ago that I would not have done-I actually talked to the man. Years ago, not only would I not have given him any money but I would have just walked right by with a disgusted glare and probably a few choice mumbled words as I passed by. Why the change? Hell, I don't know. Is it God working on me? Is it just getting liberal in my old age? Or is it knowing that I once had kids that age and it just tears my f*&%$@g heart out that I can't fix what is wrong in that kids life, if there is anything wrong? But one thing I do know, the movie was a great movie probably the best in the series, but all I could think about on the way home was why I didn't give the kid more money. I, at first, felt good about helping him get in the movie. He had about $7 and I gave him about $4. Then I ask him to give me all the money he had and I gave him twenty. I ought to feel good about that,huh? Not really. AS I was riding home all I could think about was that I gave him twenty but made him give me change.

There are all sorts of ways that I can justify what I did but they would all be a bunch of lies. I can afford the $20, even with gasoline at $4 a gallon. I'll blow that twenty easy over the weekend. I really should have given the kid the twenty, let him keep his change and told him that I loved him. There are times that the call of Jesus is so strong on me that it is hard to resist-like tonight. It is scary to think what might happen if I ever surrender totally to his urging. What did Jesus say? Something about giving a cup of cold water to those in need is like giving it to Jesus himself. I don't know if I fully understand what Jesus was teaching. But I do believe that he was asking that we touch those that are in need and that is really what church is about. Does helping a kid go to an Indiana Jones movie count? Maybe not. But the kid got to see a helluva movie.

pops!